This a really brave piece - I appreciate the vulnerability it must have taken to share it. It can be so hard, when we're at our lowest, to keep our faith and trust in Allah instead of resenting Him for putting us in this situation. It's an ongoing struggle, and as you said, as devastating as these moments are, they also push us to call out to Him with a sincerity and desperation that transforms us. I pray that you are able to find peace and happiness and fulfilment standing on your own two feet, and when the time is right and it's decreed for you, with the man who will stand by your side forever. Lots of love and duas <3